I Want to Get Sober, my Partner Does Not - How Should I Proceed?

The moment of clarity which blesses you with the ability to see the destructive nature of your addiction can be fleeting. In light of the brevity of these moments, it is best you act on them as quickly as possible. For those people whose partner is also in active addiction, this may present a problem as the inspiration to seek help for your addiction may hit you but not your spouse. How, then, do you continue in a relationship where one member is working towards sobriety while the other is continuing active substance abuse?

First things first - your life is more important than any relationship, regardless of how long you have been together. Even if your partner is unwilling to seek treatment for their substance abuse alongside you, you need to take this opportunity and admit yourself to an inpatient treatment program. Make a concerted effort to convince your partner to do the same, but do not let their refusal dissuade you from taking this critical first step towards restoring your health and sanity.

Once you have achieved sobriety yourself, you will be in a much better position to handle the relationship in question. Hopefully your absence during your time in treatment has given them time to consider attempting sobriety themselves, especially considering they have had to support their habit alone. You should absolutely choose to reside in a sober living facility after treatment rather than return to your shared home with your partner, as they could very easily cause you to relapse. Focus on establishing a strong foundation in your sobriety while limiting your contact with your partner, stipulating they only reach out to you or visit you when they are sober. In time, hopefully their love for you will motivate them to seek sobriety for themselves. If not, it may be necesssary for you to consider ending the relationship, or at least taking a step back until your partner accepts help and works towards sobriety.

Getting sober is one of the hardest things you will have to do, but it is worth all the effort and sacrifice required on your part. The decision to seek treatment for a substance abuse disorder may be complicated by a relationship with a fellow addict. Your attachment to them is likely giving you pause as you will not want to go through treatment unless they make the same decision. If you love your partner, you will seek sobriety so that you are able to achieve your full potential and be the best version of yourself for them. Your successfully getting sober could prove inspirational for them to do the same, which is why you should not delay seeking help for your addiction. Call our Admissions Counselors today at 833-818-3031 and let us help you begin your journey in sobriety now!


Evolutions is a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center located in beautiful South Florida. Our holistic approach to addiction treatment centers around addressing and healing the underlying issues at the root of addiction, rather than merely medicating symptoms away.

Our treatment program includes individual and group-based therapy to help clients understand and manage their symptoms and emotions.

If you or a loved one is suffering from addiction, alcoholism, or any co-occurring disorders please call us at (833) 818-3031 or visit www.evolutionstreatment.com