When our lives are embroiled with an active addiction, it is often our belief that our actions are only harming one person—ourselves. The truth of the matter is that yes, we are harming ourselves but we are also harming our family and anyone who cares about us. That is why making amends as a part of our substance abuse recovery and usually a 12 step program is so important to our long term sobriety. Those who have put up with our behavior, helped us during our bad times, stood by us and lost sleep, and who spent endless amounts of precious worrying and praying for us deserve to see the best version of ourselves.
Where to Begin Making Amends
Most people that you've hurt in the course of your addiction will not want to hear you say that you're sorry.What your loved ones do want as you work to make amends is to hear you acknowledge what you did to hurt them. It is important to physically say what you did to show that you are taking accountability and that you are now changing your actions to make it right as best as you can. It's not simply saying something like “I stole property from you and that was not right of me". You should make it a point to acknowledge that you did hurt the person and really put thought into what you are saying.
No Excuses Allowed
To be blunt, there is no excuse for what you did and when you make amends, the intention is not to try to explain yourself or justify your actions. For example, if you say "I stole property from you and that was not right of me, but I was high on drugs and I didn't realize what I was doing" then you are not taking responsibility for what you did. Remember that making amends is not about you, it's about righting your wrongs to others.
Remove Your Expectations
As you make amends throughout your substance abuse recovery process, your loved ones may not really know what to say. You may hear things like "I'm just happy that you are okay now" or they may be very angry with you still and say something that doesn't feel so great. You might be told that he or she doesn't ever want to speak to you again or they may start yelling at you. Or the person may even just simply say "I love you" and call it good. The point is, go in with no expectations. Whatever happens, happens. Don't go into the conversation assuming that you will be forgiven. It isn't about what you get out of it. What you are doing is taking care of your side of the wrongdoing. Nothing else.
The key takeaway from your process of making amends is that it is not about you. It is for and about those you are making amends to. Your substance abuse recovery means that you need to rid your thoughts of selfish motives and be open to whatever different scenarios arise. Each person's process of making amends is different. This is an aspect of your recovery that doesn't come with instructions. The overall goal is to try to keep things positive and productive during this part of your recovery process.
The important thing in all of this is that you seek help for your drug addiction. Do not let fear keep you from the life you have always wanted. You do not need to fight this disease alone and any and all concerns that you have can be addressed as you move through the process of recovery. So call the professionals at Evolutions Treatment Center today, at 1-866-771-7091. We are standing by to help you finally overcome your addiction.