What You Should Look for in Sober Supports

“Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.”

Page 89 Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

One of the most beautiful and rewarding aspects of sobriety is getting to meet the people in these rooms. As addicts and alcoholics, we have pushed ourselves into a life of isolated suffering. We felt perpetually misunderstood, always an outcast either internally or externally. Sure, we had friends during our addiction, but many of them only called when they needed something, or when times were good. Today we have the gift of being surrounded by a group of people who are not only non-judgemental but who have lived the life we did and have felt the ways we felt.

This is why it is so vital for a healthy sobriety to seek out and surround yourself with knowledgeable sober supports. Sometimes, the other people in the program are the only thing between us and that drink or drug, so there are some pretty key aspects when looking for the people you will call when you’re feeling some type of way.


First and foremost, it is always helpful for sober supports to have been through their 12 steps. They say in the rooms to stick with the winners, and they say it for a reason. “The winners” are defined as people who have worked their steps and continue to work a strong program. They stay in the middle of the action, they are involved with fellowship and sponsoring, they help newcomers, and they know what the heck they are talking about.

Having someone who has been through the ringer and has come out the other side as a solid person of recovery is so important for people who are just getting sober. These are the people who will call us on our BS when we are being crazy, and who will tell us what they did to get themselves out of some crazy times in the past. So this is another qualifier, a sober support should be someone who can be brutally honest with you, whether you like it or not. This honesty keeps us in check, it keeps us humble, and it shows trust. We may have gone so many years without ever feeling like we could trust anyone, but in the program, we should seek out the people who we can not only trust but who we can talk to about anything.

A third qualifier will always be that you value where your sober support is at in life. For example, when we look for a sponsor, we generally try to find someone who has what we want. They carry themselves in a way that we admire, and they work a program that we would like to emanate. This gives us a goal to work towards, and motivation to get there. They say that we adopt what we surround ourselves with, so when our sober supports are strong, healthy, and goal oriented people, we become the same way ourselves. This is crucial when we are newly sober because sometimes we can get lost in the hustle and bustle of becoming healthy and we can lose sight of what is really important for our program.

There will come a time when it feels like your prayers aren’t being answered or the meetings just aren’t cutting it. This is the period that separates the men from the boys. This is when we can turn to our sober supports and get some insight. You see, the funny thing about us addicts and alcoholics is that we like to think that no one understands us, even in sobriety! This pattern of thinking will keep us on the outside, it will keep us from really opening up and getting vulnerable, which keeps us sick. These are the times when our sober supports can show us that not only have they been in a similar, if not the same situation that we are in right now, but they can show us exactly what they did to get out of it.

It is our choice to listen and take the shared experience as a lesson, as sometimes we will choose to do what we think is right, regardless of the warnings we are given otherwise. If this happens, and we fall on our butts, our sober supports will be there to pick us back up and dust the dirt off. Qualification for a sober support, someone who is loyal, and doesn’t give up on us when we fall short.

The main point of the twelve steps is so that we can stop all of the selfishness and fear that we have allowed to control our lives and be there for someone else. Sober supports know this, which is why they choose to love us even when we are being crazy pants and making silly mistakes left and right. They love us because they have probably made the same mistakes, and they know exactly what we are feeling.

The best part about being surrounded by strong sober supports is being able to be one ourselves. As we grow in our program, we will eventually be placed into a position of sponsorship and being a sober support to our own newcomers. We will be able to take all of our own experiences and pass them on to others. We can direct our sponsees to one of our sober supports if we don’t have an answer or if we aren’t sure the best way to move forward.

Our fellowship provides us with a network of people who are trustworthy, knowledgeable, and honest with us. This is one of the most important aspects of being in recovery as it keeps us in a place of unselfishness, which is the real reason why we are here. Sober supports keep us accountable, they keep us connected, and they keep us working towards a healthy and driven program of recovery.

Finding the Right Treatment Center For You

If you believe you have a problem with drugs or alcohol and want to seek help, then call the professionals at Evolutions Treatment Center today at 1-800-795-8527. We can help you find the right treatment you need in order to finally overcome your addiction and get you on the path to recovery. Our trained staff knows exactly what you are going through and can give you the tools you need in order to finally overcome your addiction. So don’t delay, call us today.