It all ties together for us- the ego, the fear, and the control. These are the basic elements for all of our problems. As alcoholics and addicts, we have been living a life driven by the desire to control the world around us, to run on self-will. Once we work a program, we can come to see that this is really just a manifestation of our ego and its relation to our deep-rooted fears. This is why today, as sober men and women of recovery, it is so important for us to stay humble in our sobriety.
The Way We Were
When I was using, and frankly, even before I started using, I assumed, and demanded, that everyone think and act the way I wanted them to. When they didn’t, I would become sore, angry, upset. Long story short, I was selfish. I thought the world should bend to my every demand, even if I didn’t express it or say it out loud, I thought everyone should just KNOW what I wanted from them.
Yes, I admit it, I was (and can sometimes still be) a BRAT.
However, after years of not getting my way, things not turning out like I wanted them to, I only tried harder and harder to control them. This led to my drug use, which ended up controlling me. Despite the overwhelming need and thirst to consume more drugs, I still always thought I was in control. I was an egomaniac. I never wanted to see what was really going on because then I would have to admit that I was wrong, or that I had failed. This obviously was never going to happen.
Until that one fateful day that I was finally brought to my knees by my addiction. I was finally beaten into a state of submission that allowed me to realize that, maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t the end all be all of the universe. That day, I finally understood the phrase, “humble pie.”
Humility in Sobriety
It can be very hard for many of us, when we first come into these rooms, to admit that we need help, that we can’t do it on our own. This was a huge step for me. I never wanted to raise my hand and say I was hurting, and I never wanted to reach out to strangers for emotional support. I never wanted to be a burden, and I really didn’t think that these people would understand what I was going through. No one had in the past, why start now?
However, while the internet defines humility as a modest or low view of one's own importance; we in the rooms define humility as something entirely different. We don’t see humility as a LOW view, we see the art of being humble as more of an HONEST view.
This honest view is not meant to lower ourselves or degrade who we are. It is actually a huge sign of courage and strength.
Let me Explain.
For us, being humble in our recovery means that we see ourselves exactly as we are. We don’t see ourselves as better or worse. It means that we can finally differentiate the truth from the false within ourselves.
In order to see ourselves as we truly are, we are going to have to own up to some pretty uncomfortable truths in order to get the ball rolling. This is a large portion of what the middle steps (4,5,6,7) encompass in a 12 step program. While at first, many people see the fourth step as a form of torture, it is actually intended to present us with a view as to why we do the things we do, and why we have so many built up resentments.
For the most part, and as I described earlier, when in the past we were let down, or we didn't get our way, we assumed it was always someone else's fault. Someone else had let us down, or hurt us, and we held that against them.
Most of us never wanted to admit that maybe we had actually done something to spur this action into existence, or that we had actually set the whole thing in motion. The fourth step shows us that while yes, people may have hurt us in the past, in reality, there was something that we had done or some way that we internalized this painful moment that actually hindered our own spiritual growth.
The fifth step is where we get to go over all of these past hurts and resentments and discuss them with another member of the fellowship. This is also a humbling experience, as this person will most likely help us to see and digest some of the truths about ourselves that we may not be able to see.
Humility, for us, is one of the keys of a long lasting sobriety. They say in the rooms that all you need to succeed is honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. As we grow and progress in our program, we learn that we also must encompass, or try our best, to be humble. We will not always succeed as we are human and to be human is to err, but even in just admitting that fact about ourselves, that we are human, is being humble.
Being in humble in sobriety is what will fuel our fire for the program and for life. It is what will allow us to connect to the other people in the rooms, and most importantly, it will help us find our connection to our Higher Power. For us, admitting that there is a power greater than ourselves is a humbling and sometimes difficult endeavor. But once we can admit defeat, and admit that we are not in control, our journey of sobriety can begin.
Finding the Right Treatment Center For You
If you believe you have a problem with drugs or alcohol and want to seek help, then call the professionals at Evolutions Treatment Center today at 1-800-795-8527. We can help you find the right treatment you need in order to finally overcome your addiction and get you on the path to recovery. Our trained staff knows exactly what you are going through and can give you the tools you need in order to finally overcome your addiction. So don’t delay, call us today.